impulse, baby. Bet you thought I was going to write something else, right? Dirty mind!
All joking aside, impulse is something I often struggle with, especially when it comes to men. I have a tendency to make poor decisions. The only difference between me and others who make poor decisions is that I’m always fully aware the decision is a bad one. I just never cared.
I don’t make poor choices that affect others negatively. But they do affect me. And I’ve always been willing to accept the consequences, good or bad (but mostly bad). While this may seem to rationalize my behavior, I can see that it really doesn’t. I wasn’t hurting anyone…except myself.
By not placing value on the decisions I make and the outcomes, I’ve come to not place value on myself. I believe like attracts like. Therefore, I attract men who don’t value themselves and don’t value me.
During this time of not-dating, I will learn to value myself and recognize the value God puts on me. Instead of making decisions that satisfy myself and others in the moment, I will focus on recognizing the impulse and making the right decision.