I don’t have a great memory when it comes to my childhood. I remember a lot of experiences, but a lot of interactions with others have become lost. I don’t remember much about my sisters when they were small. I was five when my first younger sister was born. I had preschool, then kindergarten and then friends on my mind.
I also don’t remember learning how to be in a functional relationship, which explains a lot about why my relationships were dysfunctional. It’s no one’s fault that this happened, I just wasn’t given the tools to function in a healthy relationship. In fact, when it comes to my own relationships, I don’t even know what a healthy relationship would look like.
While I understand my relationships have been dysfunctional, and it takes the efforts of two people to make a relationship work, if I better understood the elements of a functional relationship was I could implement them in my life. Unfortunately, I’ve never taken the time to think about what I need in a relationship. And, while I hate cliches, I also need to continue to figure myself out before I’m in another relationship.
Two questions I need to ask myself during my dating hiatus: who am I? and what do I need?