“You have permission to say no to something and give yourself a break.” –My Therapist.
As she said this I physically felt my shoulders relax and air enter my lungs. It felt like the first real breath I’ve taken since before
my crazy whirlwind mission trip in Budapest. Which is so, so, so, so silly. Ridiculous, actually.
Because I’m rest’s biggest advocate. I have an unhealthy attachment to rest. I get mad at people who don’t give themselves breaks.
But for some reason I’ve gotten into a rhythm where I get the bare minimum to keep me running for the next day, and the cycle perpetuates itself even though I can feel myself draining. I can feel my joy, enthusiasm for life, and closeness to God draining.
This isn’t how it’s supposed to be, guys. As in, this isn’t Biblical, and not at all what God wants for us. Does he want us to work hard? Damn right. But he doesn’t want us to kill ourselves, to drain ourselves to the point of becoming robotic. He wants us to have close, personal relationships with each other and with Him. We can’t do that if we’re pushing ourselves to do rather than to be.
If we’re made in God’s likeness, then it goes without saying that we should be trying to be like God. And guess what? God rested!
This weekend was my Sabbath. I turned off my computer, silenced my phone, and only spoke to the person behind the counter when I picked up my pizza. I napped, Netflix binged, and, most importantly, spent some time with God, whom I’ve been neglecting.
And despite the fact that I still got a migraine at the tail-end, I feel better. I feel rejuvenated. I feel like I can now work out of a place of rest, rather than pushing myself to extend past exhaustion. I can return to my relationships more wholeheartedly.
Most importantly, I feel realigned with my God.
When was the last time you really rested?